What I Learned About Myself From Decluttering My Home

What I Learned About Myself From Decluttering My Home

The Art of Decluttering and Finding Emotional Relief

I caught myself one afternoon watching TV series on those who have suffered the struggles of life and ended up losing control of their homes and their lives amidst mountains of mess, helped by someone with more order and neatness.

So there I sat, considering how much I did not wish to be either of them. I never fully understood how much the objects on our shelves and floors burden our inner worlds until years later, when I had nowhere else to turn and had to clear out.

While originally it started as “just getting rid of some junk I don't need,” it then turned and became a battle of confronting memories, habits, and even bits of myself that I didn't realize I carried with me. Emotions, drama, and happier times followed.

Decluttering Is Not Simple Housecleaning

Cluttering sneaks up on you. A junk drawer that won't shut, a closet of clothes that likely will never fit, stacks of letters, and so much more.

Do not predict from appearances that that which comes on the surface will make up all there will be; actually, it is merely the tip of the iceberg. 

My advice for you is to get yourself a whiff of fresh air, and be of mind that there will be a hurricane of emotions and chaos.

Of course, you may feel like you’re lazy without realizing it, but no. It had been a buildup of delayed work, poor decisions, and bad patterns. Everything in the piles was an unspoken “I'll do it later.” As it turned out, “later” never came, and at some point, the piles started weighing on me.

That's when it clicked for me: decluttering isn't cleaning. It's selecting, learning how to let go of, and making space for new things, and confronting yourself.

Decluttering Can Cure You

Come with me on the battlefield: my closet. My day of reckoning was with my closet. I was exiting my parents’ home, and I needed to sort everything of mine, but as the doors opened and I saw myself facing a closet full of clothes, shoes, and handbags, many of which had not been witnessed with bare eyes for years at this point, suddenly, I felt tremendous anxiety. Some no longer fit.

I caught myself nodding and agreeing that much of it stayed there because I said I should have them “just in case” or for sentimental values. But the more I looked at my closet, the more I saw that I carried with myself previous versions of myself that didn’t exist anymore or do any service. I needed to do something; most of those pieces and shoes never would come back into style, if so, didn’t serve the version of myself now. It felt as if closing the door on pieces which didn’t do any service, and while difficult, more so than I anticipated, at the same time, it felt so much lighter for freeing memories and attachment/weight that didn’t needed and didn’t need carried with me. I felt lighter.

The Emotional Weight of Letting Go

So I was there, with two days of labor of clearing out my closet. Of course, breaks had to intervene between crying, trying on clothes from years ago, getting injured in the back, and searching for additional boxes, since, of course, I had no idea of how much I would give away. But here’s the thing that struck me the most: it seemed that everything that I had belonged with some memory or recollection. I wasn't merely getting rid of; saying goodbye made me feel as if I was cheating on some of those recollections, and on the other hand, on this, as some of those recollections hurt, and I pretty much wanted them gone. The struggle was real. On the one hand, I found myself asking myself questions such as, “What if I need this again?” or “I might regret giving away this thing,” and in others, “I wish I never laid eyes on this thing again” or “looking at this makes me wanna crawl under the surface, now.”

But the truth? The memories aren't retained in the shoes or the coat. Those good and bad memories are somewhere inside of me, and I have to allow myself to feel them, thank them, and say goodbye. When I made that decision, it didn't weigh as much on me. Bag by bag, clothes hanger by clothes hanger, I started to feel lighter. The more that I let go, the more space I leave for who I am currently instead of who I have been.

Cleaning thoroughly: Internal Chaos Reflects on Our Spaces

The more I subjected myself to the sorting sessions, the more I found myself noticing a pattern: the places of disarray of my belongings mirrored the places of disarray of my life. My clutter was not unintentional; it was a tracing chart of myself. All of those pieces of myself that I feared facing rose to the surface the minute the digging started.

Some of the drawers had objects I had never set eyes on for years, others of which sat there as if a kind of harbinger of a circumstance I desired not to avoid or forget so much as not quite reconcile with. In the muddle, there was found a box of remembrance. Of course, it brought people to mind to my existing remembrance, of which some of them were fun to reflect on and have at the forefront of my mind, others not even worthy of investing time. Confronted with this was not walking on the shore, but nonetheless it did give me an idea of how much attempts at keeping from me serve only to make bad get stronger when finally you have to navigate with that remembrance which will only recoil harder. The more you do not want to see it, the more it worms its way into your unconsciousness. If truly I did want a new beginning with the correct foot, I had to confront this and get through it, stop carrying garbage around and clutter, both outside and in.

It Takes Courage To Get Your Space Organized 

My home didn’t magically become Instagram-beautiful once it got organized, and that’s fine. Organizing doesn’t need to be perfect, it simply needs to work. My kitchen has only the tools that I use. My desk is minimal, just far enough away for me to work without toppling a pile of bills. My closet is smaller and full of clothes that I actually like. It may not look as if it came from the pages of a magazine, but it doesn’t feel stressful. Serenity wins out over Pinterest every time.

The Priceless Calm That Clean Rooms Bring

My biggest surprise was that I felt so relieved and calm after sorting out and cleaning. Of course, sorting out heaps of belongings left an enormous space which needed immediate cleaning. After a thorough cleaning session, going into a clean room soothed my mind as if the level on my inner speaker had been lowered. My concentration improved, I became more present with family and closest friends, and slept better.

Declutter and the Mental Health Connection

Clutter won't eliminate anxiety, but it definitely helps. Clutter is mess on the eyes, unfinished tasks, an unpleasant reminder of unwanted items. It gets your thoughts on unfinished tasks and loads stress and strain on your living. A clutter-free and cozy place corrects lethargy, supplies mental clarity, and room for creativity and calmness.

Seeking Help Gave Me a New Outlook

And here is wonderful advice which I also learned for myself: You can always ask for help. At those moments, indeed, I did feel drowning with the bottomless pile of bad decisions and postponed acts, grieving with the consequences of not being responsible, but immediately remembered that show and understood that I do not have to do everything on my own. Asking for help, family or professional cleaning assistance, in order to help sort out, isn’t failing; asking for help certainly makes sense. And if psychological assistance afterwards or while sorting out is needed, do not hesitate.

Lessons I’ll Carry Forward After Decluttering

Decluttering wasn't just simplifying. Unburdening from the past, condensing the present, and making space for the future. Start with infinitesimal steps. One drawer at one time. Be patient, maybe your closet of memories burdens your heart at first, maybe even that cache of coupons long past their due date, but please do give it a try and treat yourself kindly and gently. Slowly and steadily, you will feel less burdened. A clutter-free, organized home doesn't just look prettier, it looks more attractive as well, and space opens up for yourself to breathe, think, and live with purpose.